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I went out the night before last to close the chicken coop and happened to catch sight of a naked tail heading behind a box in the stables. Further inspection revealed a young possum who, apparently, waltzed right through all of my barn cats to eat the cat food. Why am I feeding those lazy bastiges anyway? Not wanting to brain the possum with a shovel and risk damaging the two boxes of books it was hiding between (and feeling stupid and cold in a pair of house slippers), I let it go. Knowing….

That it would be there again last night. I’ll put out the live trap tonight. I have no idea what I’ll do with a live possum in a box, but at least it delays the inevitable. Of course, what this really means is that I need to get cracking on making the chicken coop “vermin” proof. Right now a weasel, possum, or even a small cat, could come in and steal eggs, or otherwise wreak havoc in there. This, of course, reminds me of 7 other unfinished tasks I need to complete and the fact that I am working OT to get my paying work done and now have acquired another urgent to do item at home….grrrr…possum.

I think the real problem is that I underestimated my resistance to going outside in freezing weather to do stuff. Think about that the next time you want to get close to nature and live the He-Man lifestyle that I do. Its only 30 degrees out and I’m wimping out on possum patrol so I can run inside and warm my feet by the monitor. This is the reason that people live in condos- because cold weather sucks and the less you have to go out and shovel the walk or repair a fence or brain a possum is a good thing.

In fact, this is why cities were invented in general. That way, people could get as far away from such cold mundane tasks as possible. They’d make money to pay for agricultural goods by selling each other life insurance and iPods, but they’d never have to shovel chicken poop into a wheel barrow when it was 10 degrees outside. But I digress…

Our good friend Mary Ewert arrived back in the states last night. Mary has been sequestered in the north of England (Scotland, really) for the last several years and has missed all sorts of goings on. Mary, here’s what you missed:

• Reality TV still popular, but finally on the wane. TV in general still vast wasteland though.
• Big Brother no longer just a TV show.
• Little black plastic rectangle your son has is called an “iPod”.
• Bush still proclaiming victory just around the corner in Iraq
• Dick Cheney shot a guy (probably while drinking). No word on whether the guy dissented on Iraq.
• I live in a different state now
• With Cattle
• And Chickens
• Since Liberal might as well be spelled “Lesbian” for the reaction it gets, just tell people you’re a “Progressive”.
• U.S. reaction to energy crisis still best described as “looney”.

Welcome back! Looks like we still need you! Stop by the new place if you get a chance. We’ll save some “organic, free range” eggs for you. We’ll keep the hot tub warm for you, too. (Aside: The hot tub being our own inane response to an energy crisis!). We may even clean up the kids’ books, toys and other youthful detritus for you if only to avoid a lawsuit.

For the rest of you, fall is here in force. Its time for you to get cracking on whatever you said you would do at the beginning of summer. Start your diet now – pretty soon you’ll blame Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and then the weather as a stalling tactic. Learn how to (insert skill here) now – order the book on it. You can read it over the winter and you’ll be ready when spring comes (or it’ll be something to do when the weather turns cold). Give $25 to an organization you believe in. They need it!

We’re slowly moving from outdoor projects to indoor ones. Chainsawing firewood and dissassembling the old chicken coop require daylight, but gutting the back room does not. I just hope Cath realizes I’ll also be removing most of the floor in there. In a bit of advice to Mary, Cath and everyone else: Watch that first step, its a doozy!

Sean is here. Sean is a young red Scottish Highland bull whom we hope will take a shining to Yarro. And maybe later…Blossom. Cattle have different family strucutures than people and we celebrate those differences by eating cattle to show our disapproval. Or our approval. I’m not sure which really, but a good steak is a good steak.

I haven’t asked, but since Sean is a Scottish Highland, I can’t help but wonder if he’s named after Sean Connery – Scotland’s chief cultural export that people like. The Scots have given us kilts, bagpipes and great engineers, but Connery is probably the most widely approved of. Frankly, if I had as much charisma at 35 as Sean Connery had at 70, my life would be much different. Maybe not better mind you, but very different.

Still, with Blossom due in November and Yarro hopefully due in July/August of next year, we’ve got all sorts of cattle things to get on with. Like fixing the back fence like I keep talking about or figuring out how I’m going to tag and medicate the young ones. I keep joking that “I haven’t read that far ahead in the book” yet, but I better get cracking.

I finally found out where at least one of the Java hens has been laying her eggs! There were 9 pale brown gems in a small pocket of plants in front of our garage. Since the chickens have moved into their winter quarters in the converted horse stall, I’ve found 2 more in there. I hope they settle on a place. For instance, it would be nice if they’d use the #$%@ nest boxes I built!

Still, Cath and I enjoyed our very own eggs  Saturday morning at breakfast. I had to agree to eat them at exactly the same time as she did, so we’d both get food poisoning together, but nothing terrible has happened and I’m here to say they were quite tasty – if smaller than the giant eggs you find in the grocery store.

Soon, of course, I’ll have to start selling them since my family has a history of high cholesterol and I don’t think an egg-a-day diet is really a good idea for me. Egg sales will form the basis of my nascent rural food empire, followed quickly by scrub brush and poultry poop, both of which I have a bumper crop of.

You’d think that with 20 acres of land, the chickens – and in particular the turkeys- could stay off the walkway to my side door. Sadly, you’d be wrong. They love my front yard and ignore the plentiful pasture and backyard. It’s amusing as heck when you go outside and the whole flock trots over to see if you have bread crusts again. It’s less amusing once you get in the car and they poop on the sidewalk to show their disappointment.

In other news, the siding is just about done. I’ll send friends and family some before and after pictures. Also, the interior staircase is finished. We still have some work to be done on the upstairs heating, but the cosmetic stuff is about done. This means that I now have to stop stalling and get to work on the 2 rooms that need gut jobs – my winter fun.

Also in other news: do some warmup exercises before cutting firewood. They say a man who heats with wood heats himself twice. Frankly, counting the BenGay and the soak in the hot tub I’ll need to relieve the pain in my left shoulder, I may heat myself 4 times.

Although I think he’s bonkers, Phil Himmelein, proprietor of Philly’s feed thinks we have plenty of hay for the coming winter. I think I need another load of 40-50 bales. We’ll see who’s right when I have to get another 40 bales put up in February. Still, with 185 bales in the barn and a new coop ready for the idiot chickens – who haven’t deigned to use it yet, despite a torrential downpour – I’m about ready for the winter. We still need to line up some more firewood, but I think we’re in good shape.

Welcome (again) to my world. Prepare for chickens. Prepare for cattle. Prepare for fall. Prepare for winter. Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. I’m starting to appreciate the immense amount of work that goes into “old school” activities. Max and I gathered up a half bushel of apples to store for the cows and it dawned on me that this was about a glass of apple juice and a handful of applesauce. Sheesh! For that kind of small a return I might as well proposition waitresses.

We are winding down our “gotta get one” phase of moving in though. I picked up a Carhardt work jacket the other day. Now I just need some slip on rubber “farmer boots”  and a pair of steel toed workboots to replace my tattered hiking boots. Oh, and a wood splitter. Er…and a tractor.

And a brush hog. And round bale forks. And…

Well, maybe we’re slowing down a bit.

The leaves are starting to change well and good here. A week ago it was spotty at best. Now, there’s no denying that fall is here. It’ll be another week or two before the leaves hit their peak, but I’m already preparing for leaf burning, brush clearing and other late fall fun…